10 Reasons Why Autistic Parents Care About What Others Think When Traveling with Their Child — And How to Overcome Them.

Traveling with an autistic child or spending time in public spaces can be incredibly rewarding, but it also comes with its own set of challenges. As parents, it's natural to care about how others perceive your child’s behavior, especially when navigating unfamiliar environments. Whether it's a community outing, a family vacation, or simply running errands, worries about judgment from others can create anxiety. However, understanding why these concerns arise and learning how to manage them can make all the difference.

In this post, I’ll explore 10 common reasons why autistic parents care about others’ opinions and provide strategies for overcoming these concerns to create a positive, fulfilling experience for your family.

1. Fear of Judgment

Many parents with an autistic child worry about being judged for their children’s behavior, especially in public spaces where autism may not be understood. The fear of others thinking their child is misbehaving due to a meltdown, stimming, or other behaviors related to autism can feel overwhelming.

How to Overcome It:

It's important to recognize that judgment is inevitable, but you control your response. People will always form opinions, and that's outside of your control. Focus on your child's needs and the positive aspects of the experience. Learning the art of ambivalence—ignoring unhelpful opinions—can help you stay grounded and focused on the journey.

2. Desire for Acceptance

Parents with an autistic child want their child to be accepted for who they are. The fear that others might see their child as “difficult” or “misbehaving” rather than recognizing their behaviors as part of neurodiversity is a constant concern.

How to Overcome It:

Embrace constructive feedback from others when it's offered. Not all judgments are harmful. Sometimes, feedback can help improve your family’s experiences. Reflect on advice that may be helpful, and use it to adjust your approach where needed. Ultimately, remind yourself that your child is unique and valuable just as they are.

3. Stigma Around Autism

There’s still stigma surrounding autism, and parents may fear that others will misunderstand their child’s behavior as poor parenting, rather than a result of their neurodevelopmental condition.

How to Overcome It:

While stigma is real, normalize neurodiversity by educating others when you can. A brief explanation about autism can help foster understanding. These small moments of education help reduce stigma and create a more compassionate world for your child and others.

4. Concern for Their Child’s Well-Being

Autistic parents may care about how others perceive them because they want to ensure their child feels comfortable and safe. They may worry about the impact of negative reactions on their child’s emotional well-being.

How to Overcome It:

Focus on preparing your child for public outings with strategies from professionals, such as behavioral therapists or autism support groups. The more tools you have to help your child navigate these situations, the more confident both you and your child will feel.

5. Managing Stress

Traveling with an autistic child can already be stressful. Parents may feel added pressure when they sense others are watching or judging them, which only heightens their stress and makes it harder to manage the situation.

How to Overcome It:

When you feel stressed about judgment, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you're doing your best. Try to create a plan to manage stress in advance—whether it’s packing comfort items, taking breaks, or practicing relaxation techniques. The more you prepare, the less external pressure will affect you.

6. Fear of Being Ostracized

Parents may worry that if their child’s autism is misunderstood, they could be excluded from social interactions or face isolation. The fear of being judged or facing rude comments can leave parents feeling vulnerable.

How to Overcome It:

Create a supportive community by surrounding yourself with people who understand and support your journey. Whether it’s other parents of autistic children or local support groups, having a network of like-minded individuals can provide reassurance and guidance.

7. Sensitivity to Sensory Issues

Many autistic children experience sensory sensitivities, and parents may worry that drawing attention to themselves in a crowded or noisy space will make their child’s sensory overload worse.

How to Overcome It:

To manage sensory overloads, keep essential items on hand, such as noise-canceling headphones, comfort objects, or calming snacks. Being well-prepared allows you to respond to your child’s sensory needs quickly, reducing both their discomfort and any unwanted attention.

8. Seeking Support or Understanding

At times, parents hope for understanding from others, especially when their child’s behavior may be misinterpreted. They care about others’ reactions because they wish for compassion instead of judgment.

How to Overcome It:

Remember, not everyone will offer help or understanding, but don’t be afraid to seek out support from those who do. If you encounter judgment or a lack of empathy, turn to those who can relate and offer meaningful support. You’re not alone in your journey.

9. Desire to Make Travel Enjoyable for Their Child

Autistic parents may worry about others’ reactions because they want their child to have a positive experience. They care what others think because they hope the environment will be accepting and supportive of their child’s needs.

How to Overcome It:

Focus on celebrating your child’s progress, not perfection. Whether it’s a successful outing without a meltdown or an enjoyable activity, recognize these small victories. Your child’s happiness and growth are what matter most, not how others perceive the journey.

10. Internalized Expectations

Society has certain expectations for how children should behave in public. Whether neurotypical or autistic, parents may internalize these norms and feel pressured to meet them, even if their child’s needs don’t align with societal standards.

How to Overcome It:

Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that there is no such thing as perfect parenting. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. Allow yourself grace and recognize that you’re breaking the mold to create a space where your child’s needs are prioritized, not society's expectations.

Final Thoughts

It’s completely natural to care about what others think. As parents, we all want the best for our children, and it’s hard not to worry when others might not understand or judge us. But remember that you are your child’s best advocate, and you’re doing an incredible job. Every experience—whether easy or challenging—helps you grow together as a family.

By understanding why we care about judgment and embracing strategies to overcome these concerns, you can enjoy more fulfilling experiences with your child, whether at home, on a trip, or in a community setting. Focus on your child’s needs, celebrate the progress you’re making, and trust that you’ve got this!